Automatic Reply

To: You know who you are
Subject: Out of office

I am out of the office Wednesday, Feb. 29, from 10:10 a.m. to 5:55 p.m. I am attending the Content Strategy Training meeting (shouldn’t you be there?) in Building C and have limited access (wink) to email.

If you need immediate assistance or have an urgent request, tough shit. Everyone in this department, in this entire building, is gone, required to drop everything, even deadlines.

The mandatory Content Strategy Training meeting is not a meeting about the next big idea but a strategy session to discuss the next big idea about how to brainstorm some smaller ideas until we arrive at an innovative solution to come up with the next big idea. In other words, what we should put on our website. And app. And Facebook page #1. And Facebook page #2. Twitter. YouTube, Tumblr, Pinterest. Facebook page #3. And MICRO-SITES A through JJ.

Right now, the room is likely being divided into a dozen teams of four or more. Some shuffling, fumbling and a few muffled groans. Trevor hits the home button on his iPhone to close Words with Friends. My boss finishes a text to her husband. Jane is still taking notes, the esteemed presenter (who no one ever heard of before today) jargoning away. I flip this iPad’s cover shut mid-verse.

Equipped with a rainbow of fine-point Sharpies, the wackiest of Post-its, two neon highlighters, and oversized sketch paper, we’re instructed of our task.

“Let’s start ideating, let’s start innovating,” I heard some suit disguised in hipster glasses squeal as we rearranged our chairs.

I will respond to your message upon my return Thursday, March 1, after a morning meeting to decide when we will meet again.


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  1. chesterhopewell posted this